Is Valentine’s Day a time for wine, romance and roses or just another day to be spent with a meal for one and maybe a one night stand? Daniel Warner asks if February 14th really makes us believe in love or if Cupid promises a whole lot more than he delivers?
Let’s face it, February can be a hard month to cope with. It’s that time of year when Christmas seems like a lifetime ago and summer seems like a lifetime away. February comes along like the dull ache of a late morning hangover and the only way to break the monotony of a grey, winter’s day is by dressing it up in red ribbon, throwing a fistful of chocolate hearts at it and imagining chubby half naked cherubs firing burning arrows of love at us all.
Yes, it’s that time of year when Saint Valentine has come to get us, and if we like it or not, he doesn’t take no for an answer. For some of us, Valentine’s Day can be a day full of wine, romance and roses but for others it can be a reminder that being single is no fun, especially when it seems that everyone else is flaunting their loved up, throbbing little hearts on the street, online and on social media.
Please note that I said throbbing little hearts, this is about Valentine’s Day after all.
Hopefully, for a lot of us, Valentine’s Day is all about passion and post-coital cuddling. For others it may represent the cliched prose on a Hallmark greetings card or an over priced and uninspired set menu, but just maybe for many of us, all we really want mid-February is a little extra foreplay from a one night stand?
I’m trying not to be too cynical about Valentine’s Day but how many of us truly believe in a thing called love when all Cupid has ever done is rollover and force us to sleep in the wet patch? And how many of us really want to be handed a single, limp red rose on one day of the year, when all we’ve ever dreamed about is twelve, long, thorny stems, all day, every day, for the rest of the year? I guess the point I’m trying to make is that a fistful of roses can be just as romantic as a bouquet of barbed wire, it just depends on what kind of vase you stick them in.
To appease my cynicism and start believing in all things heart shaped, I’ve done some research on the man we call St Valentine. Surprisingly, just like a list of my old boyfriends, there are more than a few loved up lotharios sharing that very same sainthood, and even more like a memory of an unforgettable ex, the one we all celebrate and fall head over heels with on February 14th has a rather sketchy past. Not much is known about this particular St Valentine except for where he is buried and that he was born on April 16th, so quite why we celebrate him two months before his birth date is a mystery to me, which once again, reminds me of so many of my exes. So after getting 8 inches deep in research, I’m only now beginning to understand the attraction of St Valentine, and he really sounds like quite the catch. He was unavailable, had multiple personalities and lied about his age, in other words, PERFECT boyfriend material.
If you are single this year on Valentine’s Day, try not to take it too personally, although as I don’t know everyone who reads my articles, maybe you should take it personally? Is there something you could change to make you seem more available and easy to love? It could be something deep and meaningful like working on your self-esteem or even just something easy like wearing a really tight pair of jeans? I’ve done a lot of work on my self-esteem and I’ve worn hundreds of pairs of tight jeans so trust me, either of these things could lead to a long night full of lust, passion and romance. I truly believe that self-esteem and tight jeans go hand in hand, so if you already have one then you are bound to have the other. Which if you think about it, is kind of romantic in itself?
If you are in a relationship then lucky you, hopefully you’ve got this Valentine’s Day stuff down to a fine art and know exactly how to woo, wow and win over your significant other. You’ve already managed to find someone to spend the (supposedly) most romantic day of the year with so now all you need to do is buy them something that makes them think you love them even more.
Hopefully that works out for both of you, otherwise finding yourself dumped on Valentine’s Day is something even I’d struggle getting over.
The 14th February shouldn’t be a difficult day for any of us, no matter if we are single, dating, attached, married or just looking for a one night middle of February kind of lover. If we really are to believe in St Valentine then love can be found in every shop window, in every bar, restaurant, park, public place and private space.
Love can be found wherever you want to look for it, but just remember that a lover doesn’t necessarily have to be for life, he can just be for Valentine’s Day.