This Saturday Oliver and his own royal family at the Boyz Award-winning Duke of Wellington in Soho will be screening the big wedding followed by an afternoon of glorious shenanigans with their own queen of everything, HRH Lola Lasagne. Dave Cross had a catch up with the Brighton Belle ahead of the big day.
Hey Lola, are you looking forward to the royal wedding?
Hey Boyz. I guess I am, because there’s nothing that this single 48 year old likes more then celebrating the love of two young people.
Would you call yourself a royalist, a republican or somewhere in-between?
Probably a royalist as they’ve always been there and I can’t imagine this country any other way. Plus I eat sandwiches with the crusts cut off.
Who are your favourite members of the Royal Family?
The dead ones! Margaret and the Queen Mother. Margaret was the original rabble rouser, she always had a cigarette on the go and her eye on anything in trousers. The Queen Mother always looked like she was a lot of fun behind closed doors and rumour has it that after being advised by a Conservative minister in the 70s not to employ homosexuals, the Queen Mother said “without them we’d have to go ‘self service’.”
And who do you think should be quietly phased out?
Anyone with the word Kent in their title, so Princess Michael and the Duchess of Kent. What do they do apart from make up the numbers in a wedding photograph? And I’m not terribly keen on Prince Andrew or Edward either. They’re their father’s children all right…
What do you think of Meghan and Harry?
Well given my love of redheads I have nothing but good words about Harry, although his choice of fancy dress costumes is a little dubious… He’s probably the first ‘sexy royal’ and it’s a pity that protocol prevents him from doing an underwear shoot. As for Meghan: “I don’t know her”.
What are your memories of previous royal weddings?
There’s a lot of fuss made isn’t there? Telly schedules are mucked about with. Kay Burley is on Sky News 24/7. But it allows people on council estates to have a street party, so that’s nice. We got a day off school when Charles and Di married, so that was a boon as it was double physics and PE that day and I hated them both.
On Saturday you are at the Duke of Welly’s royal wedding in the afternoon, following the ceremony – what can we expect?
The lovely Oliver Blatherwick has named it ‘Lola’s Royal Piss Up’ so I guess drink will be involved. From 2pm, so after they screen the wedding on the TVs there, I’ll be doing what is expected at a wedding party – drinking, singing and trying to get off with as many men as possible. Fortunately the Welly boasts a beautiful clientele for me to choose from. It’s going to be nice weather so we may have a conga line going from the Welly, past Rupert Street, Prowler, the Village and through the stage door of the Queens Theatre to give Les Miserables a bit of colour and movement during One Day More.
And you’ve got music from DJ David Robson – is he your own Prince Charming?
Ah the lovely David ‘Dolly’ Robson! Sadly I’ll be on my way back to Brighton when he’s playing his tapes that night, and I’m not sure he’s my Prince Charming, but I’d tap him on Grindr just to get his hopes up.