The Two Brewers is the award winning cabaret mothership of London and there’s nowhere quite like it anywhere on this planet on New Year’s Eve. This year Jimmy Smith and his gang welcome their three resident stars from the Power of Three – Miss Jason, Mary Mac and Sandra – to perform, plus a trio of gorgeous DJs in the form of Demon, Liam Chaplin and Chris Brogan. We guarantee a night that will be both brilliant and totes bonkers with the best cabaret, music and crowd in town. Here we ask their NYE stars to tell us their New Year resolutions for 2018.
My New Year’s resolution is to do all the things I never got to do in 2017 and increase my dick levels from 2 to 10 or maybe more. Any offers?
My New Year’s resolution is to make better bad decisions.
My resolution is to quit smoking again and cut down on drinking, although probably not on New Year’s Eve, obviously.
My resolution this year is exactly the same as last year’s, which was totally unsuccessful, and to get back to my pre-stop smoking weight and to stop spending money like water.
My New Year’s resolution is to drink so much Irn-Bru that my skin turns the same colour as my hair and also to start using Facetune on my haggis. Everyone’s doing it!
I am going to stop giving landlords BJs for bookings. Between Jimmy Smith and the Duchess I’ve got lock jaw. Last year I gave up shopping, drinking and young men – it was the most miserable morning of my life.
The Two Brewers New Year’s Eve is on Sunday 31 December, 5pm – 5am at The Two Brewers, 114 Clapham High Street, SW4. Advance tickets are £22 from the bar or the2brewers.com