Stars

Aries

This week a star is born. OK, you’re still in the contraction phase, but with the final week of Mercury retrograde coming to an end, your moment to shine has arrived. People may try to sabotage you. Just believe in yourself.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥♥

Taurus

If something has been eating away at you, you’ve either got a raging fungal complaint, or you’ve never found the right moment. But Mercury’s change of direction means now’s the time to clear the air. Don’t waste it.

Passion Rating: ♥♥

 

Gemini

Jupiter and Neptune will be bringing you a big dose of good luck this week. So if you’ve been wondering whether to make a move on someone or set up a new business, Jupes and Neppers will be your wing bitches.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥

Cancer

You might have one or two issues at work this week thanks to Mercury’s final week in retrograde. A misunderstanding could result in you trying to staple together someone’s lips. Which pair is your choice.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥♥

 

Leo

Neptune is linking up with Jupes, which means it’s time to refresh your lion’s lair, brush out that mane and dig up that old idea or project that you’ve put on the back burner. Leo is back and this time you’re no pussy.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥

Virgo

You know how you ‘forgave’ a certain someone but you still haven’t thrown out their voodoo doll or removed the needles from their botty? Well now’s the time to actually try and forgive them. Mercury insists.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥

Libra

Before Mercury changes direction and lets you sort your life out, a certain bastard will be making your life a hell. Be on guard for treacherous hags, worthless slags and rogue exes slagging you off online.

Passion Rating: ♥♥

Scorpio

Mercury might bring an old boss, colleague or work crush back into your life this week. If you have unfinished business from your nine to five life, this is the week you’ll sort it/it’ll come back to haunt the tits off you.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥

Sagittarius

Don’t let stress rule you. Usually you have a great perspective on life, give zero shits and know that nothing will matter 10 years from now. But if you’re sweating the small stuff just wait for Mercury’s move next week.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥♥

Capricorn

Mercury in retrograde means you’re holding in more than someone who has been constipated for a decade. If you need a helping hand, a hug or just someone to vent at, don’t be afraid to ask. Your friends are there for you.

Passion Rating:

Aquarius

If nothing has been working well lately, don’t worry. The final Jupiter and Neptune trine of the year will wipe away old worry and show you that your real path might not be the one you’ve been travelling down.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥

Pisces

You don’t like things to be too predictable, but even you’ll be telling Mercury to sashay the F away after all the ups and downs and round and rounds of the past month. Embrace the calm, honey buns. You’ve earnt it.

Passion Rating:

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