Stars

Aries

The Sun is in Capricorn, so now isn’t the time to be shy, retiring, or wear pants. Come out swinging in every sense of the word and you’ll achieve more than you ever thought you could. Freeball in grey trackies to your heart’s content!

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥

Taurus

Venus and Mars are entering a naughty little trine, so expect to have a heart full of compassion this week. You’re usually such a bitch you might mistake the warm feeling of kindess for heartburn, but no, that’s just what nice people feel all the time.

Passion Rating: ♥♥

 

Gemini

The Sun is moving into Aquarius, which means you’ll be fun and frothy all week. If there’s actual froth, perhaps head to the local clinic, but otherwise capitalise on the good feels by boozing, schmoozing and never losing.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥♥

Cancer

Screw the Spice Girls. Thanks to Capricorn two won’t become one this week. One is way more likely to become two, so if you’re single, you might score. Otherwise you’ll probably just get a good BOGOF deal at the supermarket.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥♥

Leo

You’ve got four weeks to work on your partnerships thanks to the Sun moving into Aquarius. Whether you’re neglecting your bf or need to butter up/not kill your boss, it’s time to think beyond yourself. Yes, even Leo can do it sometimes.

Passion Rating: ♥♥

Virgo

Bugger playing the meek virgin. No one’s buying that. This week the Sun in Capricorn means the spotlight is on you. To be more precise, the spotlight will be shining straight onto your crotch, so make hay, baby doll.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥

Libra

It’s time to find your tribe, honey buns. If you secretly hate your mates and a friendship is just resting on momentum, let Venus and Mars guide you to your true friends. Yes, they’re out there and they’re just as weird as you.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥♥

Scorpio

You’re desperate to escape something, Scorps, and for once it’s more than just the presence of badly dressed people. Look after yourself because the Sun in Aquarius is demanding you take shelter from the shit storm that’s a-brewin’, and it looks to be a big ’un too…

Passion Rating:

Sagittarius

Mars and Venus are in a trine, so don’t be surprised if you give the world an even fiercer flavour to choke on this week. Attention is what you demand and worship is what you expect. Take no prisoners, Sagi, unless they’re hot.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥

Capricorn

It’s time to get shit done. Whether you Marie Kondo the crap out of your place, switch up your rank diet, or just give yourself some time off from trying to improve yourself, you know what you need.

Passion Rating: ♥♥♥

Aquarius

Remember that Taylor Swift video where she and her gal pal gang strutted in leather? Thanks to Venus and Mars, that’ll be you and your mates this Saturday night, except with pints of beer and smaller boobs. Well, mostly smaller…

Passion Rating:

Pisces

The Sun in Aquarius means it’s time to move on up and out. No, we’re not talking about your endless quest to get a bubble butt. But it is time to move on from something that’s making you into a miserable tart.

Passion Rating: ♥♥

To Top