Star Whores at The Two Brewers: Review by Dave Cross

Two Box Productons have really carved a niche for themselves in the past few years with their camp musical takes on popular culture and geekdom. Harry Potter, Game of Thrones and Doctor Who have all had the treatment and for this year’s panto at The Two Brewers we are treated to a new story set in ‘a galaxy far far away’.

Star Whores opens with their own hilarious take on the classic text crawl from the films, before we meet our narrator, CP3Hoe, played in gold drag and with just the right amount of self awareness by Marsha Mallow. We meet the classic trio of Luke Skywanker, played by Damien Kilmen, who gets the self absorbed ‘I’m pretty, I don’t have to be clever ’ Luke just right, Princess Layher, clearly the smartest of the trio played by Simone Cornelius, who gets the best solo song that shows off her great voice, and Mark Wickins playing Cam Solo, as the comedy or the Ron Weasley of the gang. The trio are matched against Darth Vada, played with relish by Jade Justine when we saw it, but Tanya Hyde for the rest of the run and her sidekick, a very funny Ben Everett Riley as Kylo Rentboy. The story sees the trio trying to stop Darth and Kylo destroying Christmas with a suggestive looking missile to flood the Death Star with festive cheer. It involves a trip to the planet Waitrose, a sex scene where we learn Kylo and Darth’s safe word is Jar Jar Twink, loads more Star Wars puns, Luke searching for a Daddy, smutty jokes, fun songs and panto japes. This may not be at quite the same level as Two Box’s Harry Potter or Game of Thrones shows, but it’s huge fun with great performances and well worth a trip to planet Clapham. Dave Cross


Star Whores is on until 28th December at The Two Brewers, 114 Clapham High Street, SW4. Tickets at 


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